


Desperation

by orphan_account



Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Basically I needed to do something with that finale, Episode Tag, Episode Tag: s05e16, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2016-03-05
Packaged: 2018-05-24 20:10:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6165202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if the finale went a little differently</p>
            </blockquote>





	Desperation

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic for this fandom and I'm excited to write these new characters
> 
> comments are always welcome

 

 

_“You must be desperate to save Mike Ross.”_

Harvey wishes Evan Smith hadn’t said that, because until that point he could focus fully on searching for a solution. But now he’s fully aware that he is desperate to save Mike and he can no longer ignore why that is. Realising your feelings for someone while they’re planning their wedding is one thing, but realising those feelings while they’re planning to go to prison for two years is another. He uses whatever energy he has left to ignore those thoughts as he tries to get Anita Gibbs to drop the deal. But as she turns him down and makes it painfully clear that the only way for this deal to be dropped is if Mike himself drops the deal. Harvey’s heart hurts because he knows Mike’s loyalty knows no bounds, and he’s never hated that loyalty more than he does right now.

Harvey’s a little surprised to find Mike sitting on his couch when he gets home. He was going to plan out a way to convince Mike to change his mind, but it looks like he’s going to have to improvise on the spot.

“What are you doing here?”

Mike stands up with two glasses of scotch in his hands, and he hands one to Harvey with a small smile on his face.

“Harvey, I want to talk to you.”

“Good because I wanted to talk to you-“

Mike cuts him off and just gets straight to the point. “I want you to be my best man.”

He shakes his head slightly, because the statement was so sudden. “What?”

Those words sting, not just because it’s hitting the nail in the coffin of whatever potential future they could have had. It hurts because Mike’s only doing this _now_ because he’s accepting that he’s going to prison. If he’s accepting that Harvey knows that it’s too late to change his mind. He can’t stay calm about this anymore, if he was ever calm about it in the first place.

“Rachel and I want to get married.”

Harvey can feel his temper flaring from somewhere within. “You are less than a day from prison and you’re thinking about dresses and flowers?”

“Harvey-“He must see that Harvey’s not done yet and drops his head in resignation.

“You know what I’ll be your best man on one condition.”

Mike clearly knows him too well. “That ship has sailed.”

“The hell it has. We can still call Gibbs.”

Mike turns his back on him and takes a few steps away. “I’m not calling Gibbs”

He can’t handle Mike throwing his life away like this, not when there’s still a chance to save him.

“Get it through your head this on me.”

Something snaps in Mike and he spins around to face him. “No! Get it through your head, I’m not letting you go to prison for a crime that I committed!”

He shakes his head refusing to accept this, and now he’s truly desperate. The only way Mike is going to listen to him is if he knows the truth, the painful truth.

“Well I’m not letting you go when you were gonna be found innocent!”

He sees the moment that Mike actually registers what he’s said. His eyes are wide and there’s a tense silence in the air.

“What did you say?”

“That’s right I lied. The verdict was not guilty.”

Mike shoots him down immediately. “No I don’t believe you.” If that news is true then it’s breaking him and he knows that Harvey would know that. So he refuses to believe that it is true and he’s trying to convince himself that Harvey is just trying to manipulate him. Harvey sees all these thoughts play through Mike’s head and he feels like he deserves Mike to think that way about him.

“Then call the god damn guy.”

Mike’s approaching him now, a suspicious glint in his eyes. “Then why the hell would you lie to me?”

“The truth would’ve broken you.” Harvey can’t help but think about that being the only reason he’s _ever_ lied to Mike.

“Oh except now you want to break me!” Mike’s voice is nothing but accusing and Harvey accepts that.

“Because it’s the only way you’re gonna let me do this.” Harvey barely ever stumbles over his words, but his desperation is clouding his mind and apparently slurring his speech. “You think putting a ring on Rachel’s finger is gonna make everything go away?” He can’t help but feel a little petty at using that low blow.

“You know what Harvey?” Mike steps forward and looks him right in the eye. “If you wanna come to my wedding you let me know.” His voice is cold and he brushes passed Harvey to walk towards the door.

Harvey is sick and tired of people leaving him. So turning and seeing Mike walking away is the final straw for him. His temper snaps and with an easy swing of his arm the glass of scotch is sailing through the air and smashing into tiny shards on the cabinets right next to Mike’s head. Mike flinches at the sound and slowly turns to face him. The look of wide eyed fear on his face like a deer caught in headlights both makes Harvey feel guilty and nostalgic for a time when Mike needed his guidance.

“You wanna go to prison? Rule number one: never turn your back on anyone!” Harvey knows that that’s bullshit and that right now he’s gripping at whatever straws are left to save Mike. If that means scaring some sense into him so be it.

As usual Mike sees right through his facade and calls his bluff. “I know what you’re doing and it’s not going to work.”

Harvey starts stepping towards him. “I’m not trying to take your place anymore.” That’s a lie; he knows if Anita Gibbs offered him to trade places right now he’d do it in a heartbeat. “I’m trying to get you ready like Gloria Danner asked me to.” Deep down he knows that Mike will never be ready, not really. “Because you’re weak.”

“I’m not weak.”

Harvey steps into his personal space. “Yeah well hit me.” He shoves Mike’s shoulder. This is the only option he has left now, hope that he can anger Mike enough into changing his mind, and if that doesn’t work at least he can get Mike to punish him like he deserves. He’s ruined this kid’s life and he’s earned a few punches.

He shoves him again. “Hit me.”

“Harvey stop it!”

“Listen.”

Anger flares in Mike’s eyes. “No you listen to me. You are only doing this because you feel guilty.”

Harvey puts all his effort into tuning Mike out so that he can bring up every defeat of Mike’s that he knows of. But he has fully functioning ears, and no amount of talking over Mike could tune out his voice.

“You think you’re not weak? Louis Litt got you in a headlock.”

“I’m not going to hit you. I’m not going to hit you just because you can’t handle the fact-“

“Tess’s husband kicked your ass. Logan Sanders hooked up with Rachel.” Harvey sees this strike a nerve. He’s pressed where it hurts and he’s gonna do what he does best, keep pressing.

“Stop it.”

Harvey leans in close to fully taunt Mike and hopefully get him to snap. “What do you think he’s gonna do with her the second you get behind b-“ His sentence is cut off by Mike’s fist.

“Is this what you want?!”

Harvey holds up his arms to protect his torso as Mike pushes him back with punch after punch. He can feel the bruises blooming over his body now.

“That I hate you? That you made me do this? That I’m going to lose everything because of you!” The mix of rage and pain claw at Harvey’s heart, but he feels some peace at someone finally validating his guilt.

Just when he thinks Mike is going to go for a knock out or for an attempt to throw him into his own furniture he’s taken by surprise as Mike’s hands grab at his lapels and pull him in. And when he feels lips press against his in an aggressive and adrenaline fuelled kiss, well that hurts more than any of those punches could ever hope to. The sheer absurdity of the situation prevents Harvey from acting, and Mike clearly realises exactly what’s happening before he does and shoves Harvey away sending him toppling over a footrest and onto the hardwood floor of his condo.

It hurts getting that taste of what he’s wanted only to have it ripped away before his eyes. It hurts more knowing that it doesn’t even fucking matter because Mike’s gonna be gone tomorrow. Harvey’s heart is in so much pain that he’s glad he chose to be emotionally unavailable for most of his life, because these feelings are the worst.

Once he’s shaken some sense into himself he looks up at Mike and sees horror and guilt as he backs away to collapse against the wall. Harvey touches his hands to his lips still not quite believing what happened. He’s not sure whether the punch or the kiss damaged his lips more. He sees mike screwing his eyes shut in pain, and his heart aches as he covers his face and sobs.

“Mike please, let’s call Gibbs.” He knows it’s pointless, but he _has_ to try.

“I can’t Harvey. I can’t.”

As Mike leaves saying that he has to go and tell Rachel, Harvey is 99% sure Mike took his heart with him out the door. Once he’s alone the guilt of the kiss washes over him more than the guilt of Mike going to prison. He can’t help but remember Doctor Agard telling him he was just like his mother, and that statement has never felt truer. Objectively he knows that Mike kissed him, that he didn’t even reciprocate it. But he feels like garbage, because he liked it. Even after Mike punched him, and even after he shoved him away, he couldn’t stop himself from enjoying the fact that he knows how Mike’s lips feel.

Then he remembers that Mike’s wedding is supposed to be tomorrow and he wants to throw himself off the balcony. How can he show up to the wedding let alone be the best man when the groom kissed him the night before. He decides that he has to show up for Mike, because at the end of the day they are still best friends and they have to have each other’s backs.

Just as he’s planning to turn in for the night he hears his front door open. When he sees Mike timidly making his way through his condo, eyes glassy and red around the edges he doesn’t know how to feel.

“What did you do?”

Mike laughs hollowly and shakes his head. “I called it off.”

“What did Rachel say?”

Mike flinches. “She tried to change my mind obviously. She thought it was just pre wedding jitters, or that it was my freaking out over going to prison.”

Harvey takes a step towards him. “What was it?”

Mike smirks a little. “Neither. I told her that it wasn’t fair for me to expect her to wait for me. So I asked her to move on for her own sake. She was distraught, and said that if I loved her I wouldn’t do this to her. Then I said that if she loved me she never would have cheated on me, and then I felt like a fucking hypocrite so I told her I kissed someone else.”

“You did. Why?”

Mike’s eyes widen with a hint of fear. “I’m sorry Harvey, I never should have done what I did, and I know it was shitty putting you in _that_ position considering your parents-“

“I didn’t ask for an apology. Why?”

Mike steps forward with determination. “What do you want me to say? That I didn’t know what I was doing? That I was getting back at you for bringing up Logan? That this is why I won’t even consider letting you take my place? That I love you?”

“Don’t.” He can’t keep the anger out of his tone, barely.

“Why not Harvey? Does it bother you that a guy likes you? Or that I’m a fuck up? Well guess what, it doesn’t matter now since you won’t have to think about it for two years!”

Harvey’s hands clamp down on Mike’s shoulders and hold him in place. He screws his eyes shut and takes a deep breath.

“Just stop. Please. We have less than a day left and I don’t want to spend it fighting.”

Mike scoffs. “Then what do you want to do, because I just threw away any future I might’ve had once I got out.”

Harvey lets his hands drop from Mike’s shoulders and slide around to his back so he can pull him into a hug. Mike tenses.

“You still didn’t say why you kissed me.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

Harvey pulls back and looks Mike in the eye. “Yes it does.”

Mike frowns. “Why do you care?” He pauses in thought, and Harvey can see him come to a realisation. “You care!”

Mike steps out of his embrace and Harvey doesn’t chase him. Mike’s shaking his head and the pain he’s feeling is all over his face.

“I can’t do this to two people in one day.” He runs a hand over his face and grits his teeth in anger. “Damn it Harvey! Why didn’t you tell me before I was going to prison?!”

Harvey keeps his voice calm. “Oh I don’t know Mike, maybe because you were engaged?”

Mike eyes him suspiciously. “Bullshit. You had to realise sooner than that.”

Harvey grimaces. “We’ve already had this conversation; I’m not good with feelings. Sure maybe I started caring about you before that, but I sure as hell hadn’t acknowledged it. And when I did realise, you were so fucking happy with Rachel that it wouldn’t be fair to tell you. You being happy was more important than any feelings I may have had.”

Mike sighs. “Well I’m not happy now.”

“Neither am I.”

They both laugh a little at that.

“What are we gonna do?”

Harvey considers all their options. “You’re gonna stay here tonight, and I’ll stick by your side until you turn yourself in.”

Mike shakes his head. “I mean what are we going to do once I’m in prison, and once I’m out?”

“Well someone has to show up for visitation. We’ll figure the rest out as we go.”

Mike’s smiling and Harvey has a feeling he’s about to be told why.

“You know I’d do it again?”

Harvey wants to asks if he means being a fraud or kissing him, but he has a feeling it’s both.

“You mean given a second chance you wouldn’t try and avoid prison?”

Mike rolls his eyes. “I’ve been avoiding prison my whole life. If I didn’t go away for this I’d have gone away for smoking weed, or dealing weed, or doing people’s tests for them. I’m glad it was this.”

“Why?”

Mike’s mouth quirks up. “Because I got to spend my borrowed time with you.”

Harvey smiles, a genuine smile. “I’d do it all again too, I might try and take that deal before you did though. Now what movie do you want to watch for your last night as a free man?”

“Your pick.”

Harvey knows exactly what to choose to cheer give Mike a bit of happiness. “Clueless it is then.” He heads off to set up purposefully leaving Mike to deal with that information on his own.

“No way.”

Harvey hits play and the movie starts up on the TV.

“Yes way.”

Mike’s ridiculous grin is all the reassurance he needs that he made the right choice. They both cosy up on the couch and just enjoy each other’s company while watching a good movie. And if they’re both trying not to think about tomorrow and the two years ahead of them well that’s their business.

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
